b is for bride

Getting engaged is one of those seminal life-changing moments that most little girls -- and big girls -- daydream about for years, if not decades before it happens. As I did create this blog, you can imagine that I fall wholly into this subset of the population. But dreaming about getting engaged and actually getting engaged are, surprisingly, two different states of being. The natural high Mike and I both experienced in the days after making it official was, happily, beyond even my seriously large expectations. The outpouring of love from family, friends and coworkers was also huge and reminded me how blessed I am to be surrounded by such fabulous humans.

So, there were lots of awesome revelations after getting engaged. But one thing in particular that didn't really resonate until a few weeks ago was the actual moniker of "bride." Sure, my mom and my friends will jokingly refer to me as such, but I have a lot of nicknames, most of which are unsuitable for this public forum. In fact, it wasn't until I was signing the contract on my dress a few weeks ago that the full, crazy impact of that five-letter word slapped me in the face. It happened innocuously enough, actually.

"Hold on a sec, I gotta bride in here!" the salesgirl chattered into the phone as she finished typing my address into the computer. "Holy SHIT," I thought. "That's me!"Obviously at Kleinfeld they see dozens of ladies a day, so while my specific gown order had no bearing whatsoever on her day, she was still talking about me. I almost felt like I was masquerading. Like when you're 19 and you sneak into a bar with a big group of girls and they don't check anyone's ID? And the bouncer literally doesn't pay any attention to you but you're still like, "ZOMG I'm IN!" It was kind of like that. Except this time, I'm legal! I actually belong there. (And yes, if you're wondering, I did try on wedding dresses before I was even engaged and, no, it wasn't even my idea. A torrential downpour, my job as a reporter and Cameron Diaz may or may not have all been involved)

Cheesy? I mean, probably. But for me, for whatever reason, at that moment, everything zoomed into focus. I'm getting married. Not in like 20 years, but in 11 months. I'm getting married and I'm a bride. And I'm so excited every day.