to baby, on her due date

Dear Baby, So, um, I left you a few messages, but I guess you didn't get them? Maybe cell service in there is a little spotty. Anyway, today is your due date! That's when you're supposed to come out, if you didn't know. Now, granted, I know only about 3-4% of babies actually come on time, but your father and I are generally always early. I am that person that gets to the airport a solid 2 hours before a domestic flight, and 48 before any international (OK, maybe now that we have Pre-Check, it's 36). Our hospital bags have been packed for a month.

But, I get it, it's really freaking cold out today. However: it's winter. Unless you want to stay in there for another 12 weeks or so, I'm afraid there's no avoiding freezing temperatures. And, it's too late for me to get on a plane to Honolulu. The good news is that not only do you already have a snowsuit, you also have baby Uggs (thanks, screen writing class friends!), a winter jacket, and many blankets in various shades of pink. I make a solemn vow to you, as your almost mother, that you will never be cold, and, more important, always look adorable. Doesn't that make you want to come out? Did I mention the hair bows? I can wait a few minutes for contractions to start, if you want?

No?

OK.

Baby, I also know that there is a putative blizzard headed this way on Friday. And on Saturday, there is a 100% chance of a full moon. Old wives' tales or not, this means probable pandemonium at the hospital. So, I'm guessing that's when you might choose to make your entrance. But, as your soon-to-be grandma pointed out, you'll be just like Khaleesi on Game of Thrones, whose last name (or however it works in House Targaryen), is Stormborn. Maybe we should rethink your naming...

If all else fails, we know we'll meet you no later than next Tuesday, when your induction appointment is already scheduled, bright and early at 7:30 AM. I think all of us, for many reasons, would like to make your acquaintance sooner than that, so, until you do decide to come out, I hope you like long walks in the cold, spicy Thai food, and Gilmore Girls. That last thing doesn't really have anything to do with jumpstarting labor; I'm just trying to finish the fourth season.

Love,

Your Future Mom