how we're planning our ceremony

Picture this, but remove the Jesus.

The ceremony part of your wedding can sometimes feel like breakfast. A lot of people forget about it in favor of the more filling and heartier reception portion of your meal ... err, nuptials. But, guys. Breakfast is the most important part of the day. You actually wouldn't be married if you forwent (see that? Not forgone) your ceremony. And your energy levels would be flagging. So even though it's shorter, and some might even say less exciting, than your main course, don't forget its nutritional value.

Mike and I have been talking a lot about breakfast lately (mostly because this place just opened within walking distance), as well as our ceremony. We were lucky enough to find an officiant who I feel really embodies our own spiritual views but understands our need to make the ceremony neither Catholic nor Jewish. There will be no mention of God during our marriage ceremony, so please gird your loins accordingly now. But just because we're not getting married in a church or synagogue doesn't mean we're going totally off-book. I am far too traditional a bride to eschew standard wedding vows and Mike looks awfully cute in a yarmulke (and I just spelled that right the first time, NBD). This is where our super amazing officiant comes in.

Dr. Katherine Kurs is a professor of religion at The New School and also happens to officiate weddings for those with refined enough taste to seek her out (me). She also knows more about Catholicism than my lola and more about Judaism than Mike's bubbe. For example, did you know which side of the officiant the bride stands on depends on whether she's Catholic or Jewish? Christian gals stand on the left (if you're facing the couple), while Jews are on the right. It's little touches like that that will allow us to give nods to each of our traditions without making 300+ people sit through a full-on Catholic mass.

Same goes for wedding vows. Up until a few weeks ago, I never knew that in traditional Jewish weddings, there actually are no vows. Does that mean we'll be reciting the Roman Catholic ones verbatim? Negative.

What I didn't realize until we really started planning our ceremony is how it really is possible to imbue every element of it with meaning. Vows aren't just vows when you have researched traditional ones from different spiritual groups and plucked out the most meaningful bits for yourself. By the time we get married, everything from our readings to our sponsors (more on that later), will have been chosen because they represent something about us as a couple or the traditions we come from.

We just had our first official meeting with Katherine a few weeks ago and I'm still in awe of her truly encyclopedic knowledge of religion and wedding traditions. She even gave us homework! For two Sidwell nerds like Mike and me, that was when we knew we had met our match.

I'll keep everyone updated as we continue to firm up our ceremony lineup. Is it wrong that in my head I'm kind of considering the aisle a fashion runway? No? Good.